Throughout the journey of my own life, I have never really felt like I had the right to be 100% unapologetically me. I always felt like I had to do better, be better, look better.
For the first time in my life I am starting to realise that this is not the case, over the last few months (even more so after Chris and I lost our first baby) I have realised that I do not need these improvements and I am perfectly imperfect. I realise that everyone makes mistakes in their life and it is all part of the journey, it is how we grow.
The journey is the best part! Where would we be without the ups and downs? Would we REALLY appreciate and enjoy the highs if we didn’t ever experience the lows?
I have had people hurt me many times throughout my life, which I am sure many of you can relate to. I have a bad history of hurtful relationships (prior to my amazing husband) which left me feeling alone and unloved. And the hurtful relationships didn’t stop with boyfriends, I also had many toxic friendships which left me feeling deserted and confused. I struggled to get past this pain to really move on. How could this happen to me? I wanted nothing but to be truly loved. As someone who has suffered depression and anxiety for pretty much most of my life, I found it extra hard when friends moved on or relationships did not work out and I always blamed myself and I became extremely insecure!
What did I do wrong? What do I need to change? How can I do better? I hated myself.
This past 12months has seen some huge changes in my life, I married the love of my life, I studied to become a health coach, raw food chef and enrolled to study a bachelor of science at university to become a naturopath. Through my training it has slowly dawned on me that my biggest problem is that I don’t give myself enough love and I have learnt that everything flows better when you practice self-love.
However when we lost our baby I went into self-destruct mode, everything I had learnt and had been implementing was thrown out the window. I started drinking heavily and I was smoking again- can you believe it? A health coach smoking and drinking herself silly! I was a wreck emotionally and I needed a major internal intervention! I think part of me was really angry at my body for ‘failing’ and this was all part of my grieving process.
3 weeks ago I gave up drinking again and I am starting to feel clear, I have created a solid morning routine which includes meditation and yoga and I am eating really well again. I am putting myself and my health as a priority and I feel so much better.
Coming out the end of this crazy roller coaster I feel like I have shed many layers of myself, I feel more in tune with my body and I am finally allowing myself to be me with no excuses. I want to help other women to do this too, each and every one of us deserves happiness and love in life.
You need to treat yourself the way you would treat your most adored friend or family member, with love and respect. Block out time in your diary to exercise and treat yourself. You are the most important thing in your life and you deserve to be loved and to feel love. You need to make this a priority because if you don’t look after you, who else will?
Surround yourself with people who give you love and support- ditch the toxic ones, these people do nothing but cause you harm which you definitely don’t deserve. If people treat you horribly than they are not worth an ounce of your time. Always remember the more toxic people you ditch, the more room you make for loving and supportive people to arrive in your life.
Be unapologetically you! Because you are beautiful and perfect exactly the way you are.
Have a beautiful weekend!
P.S I would love to hear about what is part of your self-care routine, comment below
Wow this blog really spoke to me. Im forever saying sorry to others.. A lot of the time i think im unworthy of happiness. Thanks for shating such a personal journey with us and onw i have taken a lot from. As to what i do for me i walk at least 5kms a day it helps clear my head. Thanks again and im glad ur on the road to you so to speak
Hi Paula, lovely to hear from you! I am the same, always apologising! of course you are worthy of happiness, but I know how you feel, but we need to constantly remind ourselves that everyone is worthy of happiness! its time we both start to look after ourselves more… That is so great to hear that you are walking 5 kms a day, take care Amy xx
I love your raw realness Amy! I love how you open up & show your vulnerable sides to help others get out of their shell & get the message!
One book that helped me massively to find my journey to the REAL ME is “The BIG Leap” – amazing & life-changing book – you would love it!! ️Xx
Lots of love to you my gorgeous, beautiful, wonderful friend ❤️❤️
Thanks so much for your message Marie.. I will have to check out that book! have a great week love xxx